My beautiful baby sister brought this perfect little man into the world last night. She lives in London. I live here. Normally I am a relatively even keeled person- okay maybe normally is overstating it a tad but most days perhaps. Yesterday I literally “LOST MY SHIT” (sorry for the use of profanity but there really is no other way to say it) A big, speechless, wimpering, red faced, snot nosed wreck. Chinese torture had nothing on last night-The not knowing, the silence in waiting, not being able to be there for her- even if it meant waiting outside the delivery room door & the knowledge that my beautiful sister who to me is still 7 years old has a son, I have a nephew and Skype is the only way I am able to experience him. Beautiful and Cursed Skype. We will be fine I know we will- I am lucky enough to have the opportunity to travel for work and she will bring her beautiful family to see us as often as she can but I really believe that people you love need to share in your every joy and sadness and I am not the same after missing this. A big and momentous and torturous night- one for the books. I decided something last night. No more sweating the small stuff, the hurtful people, the meaningless. There are massive beautiful important wonderful things out there – and I refuse to waste any time on things that aren’t just that.